So what has gotten me to this state? Well, I never wanted to throw in the towel completely at least not for long.
I have been swimming 3 times since the debacle two weeks ago. I first went back into the pool where I felt safe. I was a bit surprised that even that made me nervous at first but I kept at it and swam slowly but surely so to say.
Then I went to Lake Dunmore, my OWS spot, and went in the water, wetsuit and all. I do this all the time but it felt different now. I must admit I swim alone so this time I stayed closer to shore and in the state park swimming boundaries which I had not been doing. I swam slowly and just practiced being able to breathe. I sang a little ditty in my head when I was nervous and just concentrated on being relaxed. No speed records were set.
I went back to Lake Dunmore yesterday and did the same as above with a little more speed. Although my breathing feels best when I do the free style, I always end up going the wrong way and don't do it for long. I did mostly the breast stroke because I guess it feels better to me. I did feel relaxed even when I saw a few weeds. I know when I swim tomorrow I will be out in the deeper, somewhat weedier part but I will be with a lot of people which makes it easier. (As I am writing this I can feel my heart speeding up. Okay, I still have work to do.) BUT I can do it!!!
My running is feeling pretty good again, too. Oddly, my bike which has always felt good is the most off in the speed department. I am expecting a slower than usual time tomorrow and will be pleasantly surprised if that is not the case. My brother is going to come watch I hope. He has never been to a triathlon. He tried to see me once at the marathon but there were so many people it didn't happen.
Oh yeah, I also practiced doing it all while having to pee. Seriously. I seem to always need to go between each discipline here and have been. But yesterday, I didn't let myself go use the bathroom because I knew I wouldn't in the race. I may be more worried about the pee factor than the swim factor tomorrow, who knows?
Oh yeah, one more thing. I did a little retail therapy. I bought my first ever triathlon suit. What is it called? A kit? So I can't quit now because it cost a lot of money.
So there you have it. I'm ready. But if you're thinking of it and want to send some positive thoughts my way from 8:30 to 9:00 EST tomorrow, go for it!
One more thing. I always say my goal for any race is to have fun and I do mean it. But tomorrow this is a more serious goal than usual because of my small worry that I may not because I so didn't last time. So my A goal = Have fun!